"Fred Potter, I actually let your mother name you after the bravest man she knew, instead of making it all about me. Now promise me that you’ll take a picture of McGonagall’s face when she realises the prankster legacy you and James plan to live up to. Awesome. High five.”
i like how when people say “i love couples with size difference” they mean tiny girls with waists so thin the large men they are dating can put their entire hand around them and by love i mean where the FUCK are my tiny vain princes and their huge muscular knight women who don’t put up with any of their shit and hoist them over their shoulders and walk off when they’re having a princely temper tantrum your all WEAK
when you still need to fill another half a page
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life